The Pros and Cons of Online Dating
Thanks to the internet, online dating is becoming increasingly popular. Many people choose to fire up their computer to meet new people rather than go hang out at a bar or club hoping someone will look their way. While there are some positives to dating on the internet, there are also some cons as well.
Pros
Being anonymous is probably the best aspect of online dating. You aren’t being judged by your looks, and your first impression can show a lot more about you when you are meeting someone online. You don’t even have to post a photograph on your dating profiles if you don’t want to. You should note, however, that a picture will usually increase your response on these sites. However, most will take the time to look below the photo and actually read about the person.
Having a dating profile allows you to show off your best talents, strengths, and personality traits. This allows other like-minded people to converse with you. Likewise, you have the ability to learn more about a person before you ever hit the contact button. Online dating allows you to remove some of the guesswork when it comes to meeting people of the opposite sex.
Cons
You have to be careful not to give out too much information when you are first getting to know someone. There are imposters all over the internet, and many join dating sites to create fake profiles. Just because a man’s profile says he’s 30, single and looking, doesn’t drink or smoke, and has a good job doesn’t mean any of that is true. It’s important that you do not give away any personal details, especially not too soon after meeting someone new online.
With online dating, it takes that initial fear and nervousness of dating longer to go away in most cases. Usually, if you meet someone in public for the first time, the anxiety is gone within a couple of meetings. Since you don’t meet people on the internet face to face right away, you may feel a nagging sense of worry until the two of you do schedule that first meeting.
As you can see, there are pros and cons of online dating that you should weigh before deciding if it is right for you. Many people love it for its convenience and anonymity. Others are too afraid to meet new people online for fear that they will end up with a stalker. As long as you are safe, however, you should be able to enjoy meeting people on the internet.
The Dating Principle – It’s All About Packaging
Image + Confidence + Attraction = SEX APPEAL = MORE DATES!
The way we dress and present ourselves may not make the man or woman, but there is no denying that it has a big influence on how people regard us and judge our SEX APPEAL. Life is not fair in the dating world. Even if most of us are born with a sense of what we should wear and say, a lifetime of exposure to fashion advertising, past relationships and advice from friends and family leaves many of us confused.
IMAGE that counts – Preparation
The random changes in pushed by today’s society can make the whole dating process even more bewildering. That confusion costs money – a lot of it. Actually canvassing, preparing and dating costs money. When not done right, it can run into hundreds if not thousands of dollars with no end in sight. Dressing inappropriately or body language can give off negative or inaccurate impressions and can cost a person a good chance at securing a second date and more.
Yes, it is all about presentation. A sloppy appearance even to a social outing with friends can prevent prospective introductions to the opposite sex even if you have a great sense of humour and personality plus. In most social outings, the first impressions regrettably are that appearances are more important than talent, character or personality. However if you want to make that all important positive first impression and attracting the right people to you then a little bit of self investment can work wonders.
Remember life is not fair in the dating world, and if you’re not treating yourself well then your chances maybe lost to others who present a positive image of themselves. While you may not see it as a priority, your competition is out there buying new outfits every week, looking their best and attracting gorgeous people. First impressions are difficult to change. Presenting a negative impression to others can adversely affect your chances of finding your ideal partner. They may draw the wrong conclusion about your presentation because of a dowdy appearance. In some ways this could affect a person’s credibility, such is this cruel world. So be a master of self-expressive-love, and treat yourself well.
For CONFIDENCE – Self Esteem
Your image of what you portray both inside and out will reflect on your confidence and thus self esteem. Image and self esteem are closely aligned. Little do we know that image, your external package always must start from the inside. What am I talking about? Getting to know yourself better, believe in yourself and be comfortable with who you are and what strengths you have to give to a relationship. What flourishes within often shines on the outside. People eyeing you up will notice this.
Confidence is an individual thing. The dating world can be fickle. Confidence is about being comfortable in your true self and accepting all the unique qualities you have. Confidence in what you truly desire in a partner looks easy but in essence it’s tricky.
Being confident in who you are, background, your history, forgiving yourself for past mistakes can enable you to accept yourself and what you truly desire in a potential partner. Knowing this can allow you to gather quick information on prospects, instead of going from date to date and not really knowing whom your dating or why you’re doing so.
With this new found confidence in yourself and what you want, you will be able to;
* Identify enough positive traits to encourage you spending more time getting to know them in a dating situation so you can determine their potential for a successful long-term relationship.
* Differentiate a potential “friend” from a potential “mate.” (A potential friend or a casual acquaintance will lack the qualities necessary for deep and lasting romance.)
* Spot serious flaws, warning signs, and conditions in others that justify that this relationship will not go no further.
For ATTRACTION – to lure your potential partners
Dressing for an occasion is correctly only half the battle. There is a saying that goes like this; “clothes make the man or woman.” But we can extend on this and add to it by saying “clothes make the man or woman, but manners makes a gentlemen or lady!” Impressions are not based on clothing alone; a person’s body language, speech habits, manners and demeanour complete the external packaging which others see. If a person dresses superbly but mumbles or fiddles incessantly during a date while looking at the ground is no better than that of a person wearing a tracksuit to a formal dinner.
We humans are unique in what subconsciously attracts you to another and others to you, yet we are predominantly attracted to confident positive people. Generally these desirable quality traits are;
* Good Communication Skills – personality and character
* Dress sense and self respect – treating yourself well
* Lifestyle and Interests
* Physical Chemistry
* Geography
* Parental Influences
* Educational Influences
* Past Relationship History and Closure History
There are times in our lives where we can lose one, two or all of these dating principles. People, society, culture, trends, environment and ourselves can take these away. Ultimately though these are passing phases. We grow, adapt, mature and learn. If we can do one thing for ourselves in the dating game, then that is to learn about our own dating principles in an honest way and then go about doing something to improve them. Feel good about yourself and someone will feel good about you.
Remember; it’s all about Packaging
Tiv is the founder and publisher of the online date advice website [http://dateconsultant.com.au] Visit his website to find a variety of dating related articles, topics and coaching services. Tiv has a particularly strong interest in personal development. Trailblazing a new concept in coaching for singles with the help and advice they need to Image, gain Confidence and Attract the partner of their dreams. Utilising his unique Dating Principle, Tiv’s focus is on singles who are re-entering dating after a long-term marriage or relationship, singles who have been searching but never found the one or individuals who want dating tips. His practical, no nonsense approach can help you to overcome the obstacles that are holding you back and to move you forward.
Improve Your Love Luck with Feng Shui!
Are you tired of looking for love without success? If so, the layout, furnishings, and energy of your home and bedroom could be part of the problem. When the areas of your home affecting your love life are cluttered, missing from your floor plan, or suffering from sha chi (harmful energy) it can be difficult to find and maintain a good relationship.
A key principle of feng shui is that everything is connected energetically. This means that your thoughts, feelings, and behavior are influenced by your surroundings. A dark, untidy bedroom contributes to an atmosphere of fatigue and depression, which in turn makes it harder for you to find the energy to clean the place up. In feng shui terms, it also undermines your ability to attract and maintain a joyful and fulfilling romantic attachment. Feng shui problems can even affect your reputation, make it harder to meet new people, and lead to increased arguments and miscommunication — all of which contribute to difficulties in your love life.
Improving your love luck with feng shui starts with understanding that attracting a partner is only part of the solution. For example, if a serious relationship has recently ended, you may need a period of healing and self-reflection before starting to date again, no matter how eager you are to connect with your next partner. Maybe you have no trouble finding dates, but can’t seem to meet the right kind of person. Or perhaps you’re seeing someone exclusively, but seem to be stuck just short of commitment.
Here are some quick ways you can apply basic feng shui principles to increase your chances of success in various stages of the relationship cycle:
When you need to recover from a break-up before moving on, your key task is to let go of the old relationship and reconnect with who you are as an individual. In feng shui terms, relics from past relationships – such as photographs, clothes, and mementos – hold you in the past. The stronger that old energy is, the harder it will be to move on to someone new. Remove anything that reminds you of a past failed relationship from your bedroom. This includes things that are out of sight in your closet, a dresser drawer, or under the bed. Pillows, mattresses, and bedding absorb your energy over time, so when a marriage or live-in relationship ends, it’s a good idea to buy new sheets and pillows and even a new mattress if you can afford it, to help you make a fresh start. New bedding is also a good idea if you have been single and lonely for a long time. Pamper yourself during this stage, and try to do at least one thing every day just because it makes you happy.
When you are actively looking for a partner, your key task is to create space for a new romance. If your closets, dresser drawers, and bathroom shelves are filled up with your own stuff, there is no room on an energetic level for someone new to come in. That’s why the best way to attract a new romance is to literally make space for it. Empty out at least one dresser drawer for your next partner’s clothes. Make space in the closet, in the bathroom cabinet, and on bookcase shelves. Start with your bedroom, then move on to the rest of the house. Is there room for another person’s DVDs and music in your CD rack? Where will your new sweetheart put his or her health supplements, exercise gear, notebook computer? Is there room for another car in your garage, or have you filled that space up with stuff? Make a list of all the areas of your home where your new partner might need some space, and try to free up at least 25 percent of it. If you can’t clear 25 percent of the relevant spaces, just do the best you can; your strong intention to create room for a new relationship is the most important factor. When you do connect with your new love, you can look for a more spacious residence together!
When you have met a “likely prospect” and want to nurture that new relationship, your key task is to ensure that your bedroom supports romance. This is a good time to get rid of any clutter blocking the path from the front door of your home to the door of your bedroom. This will help keep the energy in your bedroom fresh and strong. In feng shui, the symbolism of what we see is very important, so make sure your bedroom says “romance” in some way. Focus on these areas: 1) what you first see when you enter the bedroom; 2) the wall across from the foot of the bed; 3) the relationship area of the room (the right-hand corner on the side of the room opposite the door, and/or the SW sector). Just about anything that means romance to you can be appropriate feng shui imagery for your bedroom. Traditional romantic symbols such as hearts, cupids, and pictures of happy couples always work well, as does a faceted feng shui crystal hung in the relationship area or over your bed. Look for opportunities to group objects in pairs, such as placing two pink or red candles or a bud vase with two red silk roses on your bedside table. Pale green is also a good color for new romance.
Although these simple steps are just a few of the many ways you can use feng shui to improve your love luck, they will do a lot to shift the energy of your home. As your environment becomes more welcoming to romance, your own energy will shift as a result. When you are clear in your heart about the kind of love you want, and take action to welcome it into your home, your dream of lasting happiness with a wonderful partner really can come true.
About The Author
Stephanie Roberts is the author of “Fast Feng Shui for Singles: 108 Ways to Heal Your Home and Attract Romance”, now available in ebook format at http://www.fengshuiebooks.com and in paperback at Amazon.com or your local bookseller. For more feng shui tips and information, please visit Stephanie’s feng shui website at http://www.fastfengshui.com.
Successful Online Dating for Men
Men that are giving online dating a try may find that it turns out to be satisfying experience for them. On the other hand, it could all end as a disaster. Fortunately, there are some tips you can learn that will help you be successful in your attempts to meet a woman online.
You need to have an effective online dating profile if you want women to take your seriously and be interested in you. If you are seriously looking for something on the internet, whether it is a fling or long term relationship, you need to be completely honest in your profile. This webpage is your first impression to the opposite sex, so you want to be sure you portray yourself in the correct light. Use truthful details and upload a photo if you have one that shows your face well.
Patience is a virtue, especially with online dating. Generally, men like to move faster than women, both in online and offline relationships. However, with all of the negativity surrounding dating online and giving out personal information, it is obvious why you have to take things slowly. Women (as well as men) are urged not to give out private details that could link an online stranger to their home or workplace. Therefore, you shouldn’t demand or even inquire about these details until she is ready to share them.
Speaking of personal details, it’s probably best you don’t give away too much of yourself either. You want to build a bit of mystery around who you are. It can also keep you safe from people on the internet who are not who they claim to be. You need to be honest in your profile and in your conversations with women, but be sure that you don’t share all of your secrets too soon.
When she is ready to finally meet, suggest somewhere completely public so she does not feel uncomfortable. Allow her to choose the place. Being in public protects her as well as yourself. You never know for sure who you are talking to on the internet until you have met them face to face. For that reason, it is a good idea to meet in an open area with lots of people around. A restaurant, busy park, or maybe even a coffee shop are all good places for the first meeting.
These are just a few of the successful online dating tips for men. Overall, you should do as you would if you were meeting someone in a bar or club, though you may want to exercise a tad bit more caution. This is just until you know for sure the person you are conversing with is genuine.
Making the Most of your Online Dating Relationship
Like an offline relationship, one that is began online needs to be fostered and cared for in order for it grow. You can’t expect to talk to someone a few times a week and saying you are dating. Having a relationship on the internet may seem too difficult for some people, but there are some ways that you can have fun and enjoy yourself while spending time with your online partner.
Above all, be sure to take things seriously. If you want the relationship to develop to an offline meeting, you must put forth the effort to get to know the other person. Ask questions and be genuinely interested in your partner so you can learn more. If you are not looking for something long term or serious be sure to tell the other person that upfront to avoid any miscommunication. However, if you do want it to work out, you need to be as assertive as he/she is at strengthening the relationship.
Make time for one another. Having an online relationship means you will not be physically with each other. This means you need to take time out of your day to speak to your online partner to keep the interest alive. Even if it’s an email that takes you all of 10 minutes to compose, at least he/she will know you are thinking of him/her. It’s important to chat or send messages at a time that is convenient for both of you to be online. Even if you aren’t directly in your partner’s life, you can be as active as possible in maintaining the communication.
There are some fun activities the two of you can do even if you are separated by computer. Online gaming sites can allow you to play a variety of games together. Many of these sites are free so all you need to invest is your time. Choose games that also have a chat box on the page so the two of you can talk while playing. Another fun online activity is watching TV together. If you two have a common interest in a show, fire up the instant messenger while you each watch your own television. Chat about the show and anything else that comes to mind.
Just because you are in an online dating relationship doesn’t mean you can’t spend time with your partner. In fact, you must make time for them if you want the arrangement to last. Until you are comfortable meeting offline, set aside time for games, shows, and other activities. Taking your relationship seriously may be very rewarding when it comes time for the two of you to meet face to face.
How Online Dating Can Be Beneficial For Women
Some women find that it is difficult to find a nice guy in their area. They may be tired of getting hit on by men they are not interested in. Many are also too shy to flirt back, even if it is a nice looking male that is interested in them. Thankfully, online dating has made meeting new people easier for women and men alike.
Women that feel they have always been judged incorrectly by their looks may feel more comfortable with online dating. It’s true that some people will ‘judge a book by its cover.’ This is an unfortunate action because the person being looked at negatively could actually be the right person for someone else. However, she may never get to show it. Being online, you can present information about yourself that will allow others to find clearer opinions of you before they initiate contact.
With online dating, some women feel safer being anonymous than if they were being hit on in a bar or club. If you choose not to, you do not have to give out any details that would be too revealing on the internet. It’s actually highly recommended that you don’t give out this personal information until you feel completely comfortable with the guy you are chatting with. When you have the computer to hide behind, you may feel less shy and nervous, allowing your true self to shine.
It’s much easier to turn down a man when you are sitting at your computer. Someone trying to pick you up may be over insistent, to the point that it makes you uncomfortable, angry, or both. With the internet, all you have to do is delete their messages without replying. Most sites have a function to ignore another user, so if they try to get persistent with trying to meet you, you can always resort to that to keep you safe.
Online dating exposes women to a lot more choices than they may have in the real world. If you live in a small town with no popular ‘hang out’ locations for singles, you may find it difficult to meet likeminded people. However, thanks to the World Wide Web, more people than you’d ever want to meet are available at your fingertips. Having options is a good thing, especially when it comes to who you date. You could find people within your local area or outside it, giving you a potentially unlimited number of choices.
Weeding Out the Bad Matches from Online Dating Sites
After you have set up your dating profile, you are likely to start being contacting by potential dates. These people have read through your page – hopefully – and have found you interesting. Hopefully they are like minded so the two of you will have some things in common.
The question is, what do you do when you receive multiple messages from different people? How do you decide who to chat with and who to ignore? Luckily, there are some ways that you can find out more about the people who stir up a conversation with you on online dating sites.
Of course, you don’t want to begin the interview right away. Check out his/her profile and see if you are interested at all. Make a little bit of small talk. Once you feel more comfortable with the person and he/she seems interested in you as well, you can begin asking each other questions. The first one you could bring up is, “What are you looking for with online dating?”
There is usually a section in a dating profile where the members can input what they are seeking, but not everyone is truthful. Hopefully, they will be completely honest with you when you are actually chatting with them.
If their answer does not coincide with what you are seeking, say so. It’s best to get intentions out in the open in the beginning. If you are looking for a relationship while the other person is looking for a no strings attached fling, it would be safe to say the interaction will not work out.
Given that there are a few people who survive the first question and are looking for something similar to what you are, there are other things you can ask. Inquire about their family, goals, job, future plans, etc. Sound genuinely interested and not like you are grilling them. Offer your own answers to these questions as well as any questions the other person asks you. Always, be honest in your answers. If you really want to connect with someone through online dating, you will achieve nothing by being dishonest.
Getting to know the people you meet well will allow you to have a great online dating experience. It’s important to talk about yourself as well as ask questions about the other person. Having small talk in your messages will not allow your relationship to go anywhere, so it’s important that you offer information while seeking it as well.
Tips for Online Dating – Finding your Perfect Match
If you are serious about finding a significant other, you may want to read these online dating tips. They will help you locate as well as attract people in your area that you would be interested in getting to know. Dating on the internet can be a huge failure if you don’t go about it the correct way.
* Choose the right online dating service that is right for you. There are different options when it comes to meeting people on the internet. You can join a generic dating site and create a profile. There are also services such as Match.com and eHarmony that will work to set you up with people similar to you in your area. Social media sites such as MySpace and Facebook are also effective in helping you meet new people.
* Be safe when looking for someone to date online. Avoid giving out too much information in the beginning. Trust your gut instincts as you meet new people. If you feel someone may be creepy, halt all communication rather than waiting around to see what the person is like. Your intuitions are helpful when talking to people you cannot see face to face.
* Create an effective profile that will help others get to know you before they send you a message. Having this ‘first impression’ allows you to be contacted by like-minded people. Be completely honest so you don’t attract anyone you don’t really want to. You can also use online dating profiles to help you decide who you want to contact.
* Post a recent photograph of yourself in your profile. We are naturally drawn to images over text when we are searching the internet. Having a good picture will generate more interest in your profile. People are more willing to read through your page and contact you if they are able to place a face with the information you have provided.
* Hold off on the first face to face meeting until both of you are completely comfortable. Rushing to meet up can be a method for disaster. You want to be able to trust the person you have been chatting online with before you take the online relationship to the next level. You can keep yourself even safer if you take a friend along with you to that initial meeting. Also, be sure to meet in a public place.
Following these tips for online dating should help you get started meeting new people from your area. Overall, use common sense to connect with others and keep yourself safe. Online dating can be a very fun experience when done right.
From Chatting Online to Meeting Face to Face
The life cycle of a solid online dating relationship usually begins with the initial communication through a dating site or chat room. It will progress to intimate conversation, followed by a face to face meeting if the two of you are genuinely interested in one another. The process sounds simple, but sometimes the relationship gets ruined before it can get to the meeting in public part. There are a few steps you need to keep in mind to ensure there is a meeting.
The first thing you need to remember is to take the online dating relationship slow. It’s not a good idea to meet someone and try to arrange a meeting with them the following day. Not only is that distasteful, it would probably have them running in the other direction. Take the time to get to know each other through chatting on the internet. Once you feel truly comfortable spending time with them in public, you can then start to discuss plans for meeting.
Learn as much as you can about the other person through your conversation online. This isn’t the time to flirt or be silly. You really need to know who you may be meeting up with in the future. To avoid wasting time for you or the other person, ask questions about things you look for in your ideal partner. Consider what they have mentioned in their profile, and use that as your starting point. Having meaningful conversations so you will know if you really want to have a public meeting or not.
After the two of you have chatted for at least a few weeks, you may be ready to meet face to face. Begin by planning to meet in public area where lots of other people will be around. This keeps both of you safe. Meet at a time when it is still daylight. This may mean lunch or early afternoon on the weekend. Find a time that is convenient for both of you so you can each be comfortable and not feel the need to keep checking your watch due to other commitments.
Once the two of you have met and allowed for any physical chemistry and attraction to spark, enjoy the time together. Save some things from your online conversations so you have plenty to chat about. At the end of the ‘date,’ ask for a second one if you are still interested. It’s a good idea to have the first two or three dates in public before you decide to visit one another at home, but of course, it all depends on how much you trust each other.
Choosing the Best Dating Site to Join
There are hundreds, if not thousands, of online dating sites in existence today. There is a little something for everyone, but which one should you pick? It can be confusing to choose with all the different options out there. Read on to learn how to select a dating site that will hopefully work well for you.
1. Opt for a free membership site when possible. Being able to utilize the basic features of a dating site at no cost to you is beneficial. This allows you to see if you like the look and feel enough of the site to pay the fee to join. Most will at least let you post your profile and initiate a couple of conversations with women. Though, you may have to pay to see their responses. At least free access will let you get your feel a little wet.
2. Even if there is a free option, still take a look at the pricing options before wasting your time on a profile. If the site is out of the range you want to spend, it would probably be useless to spend the time signing up for the free membership. Most dating sites have a monthly membership, and you can find some for under $10 per month. This may be a small price to pay to get access to a number of available people in your area.
3. Check out the features that you will be given with the paid membership. Different dating sites offer a wide variety of benefits that can help you connect with others looking for the same things as you. Make sure you get one that will allow you to chat back and forth with people that contact you. Having an IM is also nice and provides a faster method of communication.
4. Consider a specialized dating site, if you are looking for something specific. The most popular online dating websites are general sites with men and women of all ages present. The downfall to this is you may not be able to find what you are looking for. For example, if you require a Christian female, you may get a lot of emails from women of other religions on a regular site. There are dating sites specifically designed for Christian people that would greatly increase the odds of finding what you are looking for. Other specific sites include adult and senior dating sites.
Following these guidelines, you should be able to decide on an effective online dating site. After you have joined, it will really be up to you to make the most of your membership. Be sure to create an honest profile, and include a photo of yourself. This helps to spark interest in others so they will contact you shortly after your profile goes live.
