Do you find yourself wondering if you will ever find the right guy to date? It seems that all the other interesting guys are either not interested, already engaged or gay! Well, the good news is there are still great looking, smart and available men out there. The bad news is you may not be looking for them the right way.

You could be face to face with one great guy, but the problem is you hardly know he exists! This is most likely because you don’t really know what exactly are you looking for in a man. It could be that your criteria keep changing, that you would hardly know the guy you are looking for is standing right in front of you.

You see finding the right match is not all about finding someone who passes your mom’s idea of a perfect guy for you. When it comes to choosing the man you would want to date, and perhaps eventually marry, it is not all about competing with other girls and coming out with a “prized catch”. Nobody but you can define what qualities in a man would you find attractive. It is only your set of criteria that matters, because in the end, it’s you and not your family or friends who will be living with him for a long time, possibly, for the rest of your life.

You can look at the options available, in the same way you do your shopping for clothes. If there is a great bargain sale going on, you shouldn’t really buy something just because it is cheap, even though it does not really match any that is already in your wardrobe. In the same way, you shouldn’t simply settle for someone because he is readily available, even if he does not really fit your values. Sooner or later, you will find that there will be incompatibility issues and you may just be setting yourself for future heartaches.

Why even think of buying a pair of shoes, for example, that looks great, but does not even fit you? Maybe it’s too tight or too uncomfortable to wear. Would you still have it, because it seems to look good on you? In the same way, you don’t just base your choice of men on whether you look good together or not. Of course, looks may be one of your criteria, but that’s not all there is to it. To be seen together with one very handsome man may be very flattering, but what if this guy is verbally abusive or is in the habit of collecting girlfriends? Why would you even waste your time on someone like that?

Until you have defined what you are looking for, you will just be going around in circles, changing partners several times, always searching for the “right” man. One way you can help yourself find out what you really want to see in a man, is to get a piece of paper, make two columns and write on one column, “must haves” and on the other column, “would like to have”. On the “must haves” column, you can put your own criteria on what to you are essentials, such as age, appearance, values, sports, and commitment. The “would like to have” column is more flexible, meaning these are things that will make a man more appealing to you, but they are not strict requirements.

Once you’ve figured this list out, you will get a better picture of what to you is a “perfect match”. Be careful, though not to put too many “must haves” there, because it will mean that your standards are too high, and most likely, none of the people you know (or may know in the future) will ever fit the mold, and you will just end up frustrated.

What is important is to define the things that are important to you, but be realistic enough to know that you may not find all your criteria in just one man. Be flexible enough, and learn to compromise a little bit. Remember that no relationship is perfect, but with a great deal of loving, it is possible to find happiness with the man of your choice.